Highcliffe attempt the Apple Cake Gambit, or Dick Whittington fills his boots

This was to be our first tour to Bournemouth since 1989, in deed our first tour for three years and many hours of planning had gone into it. So I was quite annoyed that North Mymms refused our request to rearrange the Becker Cup Quarter final, back one week. So instead of having 15 players to choose from on the first game of tour, the night before we were due to drive down to the south coast, I was looking at there only being the nine of us - how embarrassing! Also as I was due to Captain the game and I was running the tour, I was potentially upsetting the Sunday 1st team skipper by insisting on continuing with my tour plans. I think I made the right decision with hindsight.

On Saturday night Patrick 'Haddock' Micallef came to my rescue, he had a secret weapon! A friend of his from work, said that she would drive down for the day and play for us. She hadn't played for 4 years, but she kept wicket - That's not a typo by the way, our tenth man was a lady wicket keeper! A grand job she did too.

We were nearly back to nine on the way down to the coast. Barry Stephenson's Merc. decided to breakdown on the M25/M3 slip road. Barry insisted for an hour and a half that he would go home with his car and get the train down to Bournemouth - we wouldn't have seen him till the evening if he had done that - this was until the AA mechanic offered to tow his car back to Palmers Green and give his car keys to a relation. I don't know how we managed to fit Barry in my car, more to the point I don't know how Barry coped being squashed up like that for the remainder of the journey - to give you an idea, I already had two large suitcases, two extremely large cricket bags, two sets of golf clubs, James and his shoes! Added to that I had two extra bags plus Barry to take - And I only had room for two bags in my boot, the rest went on the back seat, with James sitting in the front, with a set of golf clubs between his legs - no rude jokes please!

Anyway, we managed to get to the hotel, dish out the tour t-shirts and then get to the game without further incident.

Highcliffe's ground was really a park, with a small clubhouse and no bar. A problem you think, well no, we knew that in advance and brought with us a crate of Fosters and the home team were extremely welcoming and very understanding, when I said we only had 10 - also some teams would have created a fuss about a lady player.

To the game itself. I was informed that it was a 2:30pm start, tea at 5pm and 20 overs at 6.30pm. A very civilised mode of friendly cricket (This was only my second friendly of the year to date and I found it very refreshing). I won the toss and batted, asking Mark Davies and Stuart Taylor to do the honours. Mark didn't last long, so I pinned my hopes on James Parker as my number three. At this point we asked the bowlers name, 'Dick Whittington' they shouted, 'No really' we replied, to which they returned, 'yes, that's really his name'. James squared up to face his first ball from Dick Whittington, aware that he could become Dick Whittington's pussy. A wonderfully executed forward defensive shot ensued, unfortunately, not played down the right line and Dick Whittington bowled James fist ball!

Dick Whittington filled his boots with three wickets and suddenly we were 19 for 3 and I was starting to rue the loss of the 6 first teamers, who were playing against North Mymms. But cometh the hour cometh the man, Barry Stephenson stroked his way to a classy 62. It was truly a well crafted innings, with delicate late cuts, fine cuts and exquisite drives. I was still a little worried though, because runs weren't coming at the other end, so I went in at number 6, instead of 8 and bludgeoned my way to 85 not out in a very short time. I think my last 35 came off about 4 overs!

At this point Haddock caught my attention from the boundary, I realised that he was suggesting I declare. I knew he was right, we had over two hundred by 20 to five and I guessed that they couldn't have a lot in the locker. Their bowling was very accurate, with swing and variation and one of their spinners had turn and guile, but by no means were they any more than a reasonable 2nd team bowling attack and I guessed rightly that bowling was their strength, so I thought that this total could produce a good game of cricket. We declared on 202 for 5 (starting in the end at 2:45pm, so we got our runs in just under 2 hours!)

They were completely taken by surprise when we declared before 5pm. They always played until 5pm. So they played their Apple Cake Gambit. We thought tea was going to be a few trays of sandwiches, ooohhh no, they brought out tray, after tray of the most delicious apple cake and also lemon cake - I think we wolfed down on average 5 slices each. The apple cake was probably the best cake I've ever had. It was also at this point Bev mentioned that the player who had made the cakes, was a famous opera singer in New Zealand and was on friendly terms with Dame Kiri!

Anyway we waddled out to field and I responded to the apple cake gambit, with the Brewer offensive. Basically, I bowled a medium pacer with no run up. It didn't matter how much cake he had eaten, I still managed to keep him on for 15 overs! Also Patrick opened with his spin at the other end. Boy did these two pin them down! The Apple Cake Gambit was foiled!

Now I was aware that in a game such as this, you do need to try and keep it reasonably open, but when you say to a bowler that 'this is your last over' and he gets a wicket, you can easily say 'ok, have another one'. There was one over I said this to Owen and he bowled a double wicket maiden! Also when the bowler has four wickets and he has never taken 5 wickets in an innings, well, you've just got to keep him on. Owen's figures in the end were 15 overs 8 maidens 5 wickets for 26 runs. His only bad over, was his first, as is generally the way with Owen. Owen has become a strong contender to push for a place in the 2nd XI in my opinion, or at the very least, open the bowling in the 3rd XI.

I cannot remember all the bowling stats for the day, but I do remember Patrick bowling very well, I think he took a couple of wickets. Also Jack Tarling bowled well and was unlucky to not take more wickets. Stuart Taylor picked up the last two wickets with some off spin.

Lastly, I cannot neglect to mention Bev's performance. Bev kept wicket for the first time in years and was very apprehensive about that fact and the fact that she had to keep against men bowling to her for the first time. Bev contributed to the team effort and was excellent behind the stumps. She would make a very good 3rd team wicket keeper. I was only upset about one thing, that I wasn't able to give her the opportunity to have a bat. Another time maybe. 

We bowled out Highcliffe for 120 and went to their local pub at which we stayed for some time. And as with all good friendly cricket matches their were jugs flying around. Highcliffe were a very friendly bunch of lads and we would definitely like to play them again next year.

After this game we went back to the hotel and sat on the veranda until the early hours of the morning. A pleasant first days tour.

Report by Paul Hewitt